The Morbid Linguist

     In the event that you find yourself in possession of language evidence and in need of an expert, you can request the services of a forensic linguist. Chances are, if you have language evidence, you probably do need a forensic linguist.     As of the time of posting, I am available for consultations. If you believe you are in need of my services, you can contact me  to discuss details. Depending on the specifics of your case, I may be able to help.  However, as I currently  lack the qualifications to testify in court, I recommend contacting my mentor's association, Robert Leonard Associates , about highly sensitive cases.

As of today, my complete thesis has been uploaded to the Hofstra library. Unfortunately, as is the modern tradition in academia, most published knowledge is intentionally locked behind a paywall, and my thesis is no exception. All 73 pages of my thesis have been uploaded through ProQuest. Those with institutional or subscription access to that database may download and read it (possibly even in full) through  ProQuest . As a graduate, however, I cannot even access my own paper this way. However, if anyone desires a copy of my thesis in full, I have uploaded a copy to Researchgate: available here . I am still in the process of editing my thesis for publication in academic journals, likely in two or three parts. I also edit and publish large parts of it on this very blog.

Finally, I have finished my thesis. The drafting and editing is done. It's been approved and is now on its way to the Hofstra library archive. It may be a while, but once it is online, I will share a link to access it. In the meantime, I am incredibly happy and relieved to be finished. To publish my thesis in journals, I believe I have to break it up into smaller articles first. Those will resemble the segments I publish on this blog. There is still work to be done. But now, there is nothing between my degree and a career as a forensic linguist. If I sound dramatic, it's because I have spent over two years working on this research and just about fifteen months writing it. Of course, I'm not done learning, studying, or writing. I will do those until I die.

Yesterday, I put on some funny robes and participated in a mysterious ceremony signifying that I've finished my forensic linguistics studies at Hofstra University. I am a storm of emotions now. Of course I'm supremely happy to have achieved my dream of earning a master's degree in forensic linguistics, but I'm also sad that it's over. I also have a little panic and fear about my immediate future. I'm not done with my formal education just yet, and there's a lot I need to do to get myself in the position to continue. To qualify for my dream career as a professional forensic linguistic analyst, I need to earn a PhD. Most importantly, I intend to relocate to Chicago to be closer to my family. I've made some promises to some important, tiny people, and the relocation is quite non-negotiable at this point. Unfortunately for me, the US is lacking in forensic linguistics degree programs. Until earlier this year when the California University of Pennsylvan...

This blog is not your destination for learning how to perform forensic linguistic analyses. First of all, I'm paying a lot of money for my education and it wouldn't be fair to anyone if I just gave it away for free. That is because, most importantly, I am a neophyte forensic linguist myself. No one should rely on a newby for an education in a science as nuanced as forensic linguistics. I actually think of this blog as an extension of my class notes. That being said, I do my best to only publish what I know to be true and to represent the facts fairly. I must refer to my professors, mentors, and those expert forensic linguists with established careers, as well as their published research, as the most reliable sources of information regarding the field. This blog will just be a more available, casual, and personalized brand of study.